The Diplomat, Isla and I have the ASN Channel supplied to us by TrueVisions, Thailand. I like this channel as it is enabling me to watch Ice Hockey but it has one flaw: I have been here 9 months and they seem to have only seven adverts that they show in a perpetual loop. It’s like listening to your favourite song over and over and over and over…sorry, in a loop….again to the point love becomes hate. So I thought I’d share my misery with you; luckily for you I can’t find them all online to share my version of hell, but here they are:
1) Hardrock Hotel – Bali. No video for this but it starts off with “Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself”, followed by a series of still shots of an empty hotel room and environs. I find myself muttering…”No, please don’t introduce yourself…” Every time.
2) MGM Macau; The Grandeur of Gold – I keep expecting Charlize Theron to pop up in this one due to that ad she did with the tiger. Or was it a panther? The perfume one, I mean. I find perfume adverts utterly pointless – the Lynx adverts the worst of the lot.
3) BNP Paribas – <sob> I can’t take it it any more. I don’t want a bunch of beautifully dental-worked people think they get the sun to rise by yanking on a rope from Paris. It’s making me hate dawn. Paribas say we are all “Reaching together”. More like ‘retching together’.
4) The Garuda International Experience – the filming for this one suffers from a lack of glossiness. All the colours are muted, dull, and the food doesn’t look appetizing. Any advert that uses “filling out your landing card” as an on-board ‘luxury’ is desperately searching for things to promote.
5) The ‘redrawtheline‘ Climate Change – this one is two guys running around with paintbrushes, painting orange lines everywhere to mark rising sea levels, interspersed with photos of floods from all round the world. All done at a frantic pace. A useful message telling you to recycle which is odd in a place where I’ve not seen a single recycling point. We have two refuse receptacles: Wet and Dry. You can put what you like in either; it makes no odds to the collectors.
6) Ayana Resort and Spa – much like the Hardrock Hotel above, this one is a series of video shots of one of Asia’s leading luxury resorts. The small print at the bottom notes the claim to be Asia’s best was made 4 years ago in 2009. I don’t know how long you can use an ancient piece of data to make a current claim. Which gets me onto the lamentation of UK beauty product adverts. The Diplomat has heard me complain vociferously about these. The ones which tell women to use a new product for hair/eyes, skin etc.. The advertisements say it will change you irrevocably, but you spot the small print which says it was based on research done four years ago where 17 women were tested and 65% agreed with the claim. Has me reaching for the remote button marked “indignant apoplexy”. I don’t even use these products!
7) Lastly, and I don’t think I can criticize this one, the Médecins Sans Frontiers/Doctors Without Borders reel led by the main man himself. A worthy cause – http://www.msf.org.uk/ – I’ll just reiterate that I can repeat the entire advert word for word now.
Either ASN on TrueVisions is watched by wealthy travelers who like Spas, want to get to aforementioned Spas via Garuda, whilst fearing for global warming and the fact the sun might not rise every day….or, those companies pay a lot of money to monopolize the channel. Either way, having seen them a thousand times, I can safely report that saturation of adverts can have precisely the opposite effect of their original attention – namely a decision to never go to those places/use those products. Except the MSF, I’ll add. That’s always worthy. Thankfully, I’ve got CBeebies set up on my red button so I can flick to the “Irritating Adventures of The Tweenies” during the breaks.
Rant over. Back to the Stanley Cup in the heat of Bangkok.
Is this what diplomacy is all about?